A rare example of the species Hopkinsaeus Thomasum in its natural habitat

Despite all of the desperate pleadings, attempts at intervention, and even threats I have received to force reconsideration, you are about to see an overview of my several decades in music, audio, electronics, art, photography, creative writing, cardboard spacesuits, and pointless wordplay. I have pursued many creative interests over that time and I have tried to compile a sampling of those interests here, plus a smattering of the things that tend to amuse me (and likely annoy others.) As you will soon see, this is not your typical website because it assumes you can actually read and expects as much. That's probably the only thing it expects but this, in itself, is quite an accomplishment since websites tend to do very little expecting. It also breaks a hard and fast Internet rule: Don't have too much content concentrated into one website - that is, always keep the information density to a minimum for the modern Short-Attention-Span world out there - lots of pretty graphics and not much text! I deliberately break that rule with malice aforethought. In fact, I so deliberately and completely break that rule that my behavior actually advances to the level of malice afivethought. Think of this first page as an exercise in acclimation.

If you take one salient insight from these pages it should be: I have experienced a considerable amount of enjoyment from the various pursuits described herein. If anything, there are just too many fascinating activities to choose from and not enough time available in any given day to indulge them properly. With my retirement in 2011 and the 25th anniversary of The Vocal-Free Zone, it seemed like a good time to look back (or over my shoulder, if you prefer.)

During the task of website construction I had to dig through a daunting number of old boxes, tapes, and computer files in search of the relevant. In the process I discovered many things I had forgotten. And speaking of forgetting things: I would be remiss if I didn't mention that my commentary will be as accurate as my shaky memory can manage, however . . . I refuse to be held accountable for any lapses. I also refuse to be held accountable for any lap dances. Or any laptops. Or any laparoscopy. Basically, anything that has a "lap" in it is not my problem.

With that said, now that the site is complete, did this endeavor merit all of the time-consuming effort? Well, at the considerable risk of sounding sesquipedalian, in a word . . . floccinaucinihilipilification! (Yes, it's a real word.)

Definition of floccinaucinihilipilification:



To my friends (if there are any left after they read through this site): No matter how well you have known me you will almost certainly learn something insignificant or boring about me that you didn't know before. Sorry about that. Don't say you weren't warned. Try thinking hard about something else and it might go away. Fortunately, if you're even close to my age, your lack of short term memory will probably do the trick anyway. Oh, and did I mention the lack of short term memory?

One of the disturbing drawbacks to revisiting the expanse of my personal activities is the nearly unavoidable presentation of far too many photographs of me. I'm all too aware of the patently offensive nature of this because I happen to be an owner of several mirrors which subject me to my horrific visage daily. If I could have found a way to eliminate the photos and cover the same territory, I would have. Their inclusion could easily be misconstrued as deliberate cruelty on my part toward the innocent website visitor but, believe me, the cruelty is just an unfortunate side effect.

With the minor exception of a much-deserved courtesy plug to PBS Television (which contains absolutely no personal financial interest for me anymore) there is one extraordinarily important point: This is not a business site; it does not exist for the purpose of my selling anything to anybody. Under no circumstances will I accept remuneration in any form, no matter how forcefully you attempt to twist my arm. My pockets are sewn shut. I'm above monetary debasement. Keep your "ka-chings" to yourself. My whoring days are over. Really. Absolutely. Probably.

Speaking of "probably": I probably needn't point out that this website carries with it a magnitude of importance, in the larger scheme of things, equal to (or exceeding) that of critical medical research, the development of clean energy sources for the world, or ending poverty and war for all time. Well, perhaps I have overstated it somewhat. OK, let me rephrase: I'm pretty sure that this site may be more important than chewing gum but I have no statistical data to back that up. It's just a hunch.

So, with the considerable gravitas this project merits, I'm presenting my veritable cornucopia of personally enjoyable creative activities. Click on any of the activities buttons on the upper left of this page to begin your journey. I would suggest taking them in descending vertical order since that makes the most sense of things that, admittedly, don't make much sense. Most photos and a few additional graphics can be displayed in enlarged form by clicking on them. Use the browser's "back" button to return to the webpage when you are done wasting your time examining the file in detail. Here is a demonstration of that feature - just click on the following graphic:

That happened to be one of the least offensive examples of the enlargement feature that occurred to me. Consider yourself fortunate.

Also, there are two ways to approach this site:

1.) The relatively quick, easy way: Ignore the numerous external technical links within the text and just examine the basic content or . . .

2.) Explore the external links (as opposed to the links that just move you conveniently to other locations within this site) for detailed explanations of the many technical subjects mentioned here. Links are underlined and usually highlighted in bold. Click on them to go forth - again, use the "back" button of your browser to return to the page when you are done enlightening yourself.

The second approach would be considerably more time-consuming but far more informative - with the caveat that many of the links are Wikipedia and may lack full verification of all information because it's, well . . . Wikipedia. Just keep in mind that the links are there if you choose. You should ask yourself, "Do I really have several months to devote to the minutiae of this website or should I merely spend several weeks?" Only you can answer that question.

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